Words of Wisdom Concerning Washing Cars

For a second today I thought I'd run out of half decent topics to discuss on my Blog...but then I remembered a topic whose level of importance exceeds that of all other topics.

Before today, I had managed to avoid the 'washing the car' task for all of my 45 years.

Clearly, this is something of which I am very proud.

My downfall came today in the form of an ultimatum.

As I mentioned yesterday, we are a little stressed trying to get several important jobs done before we go on holidays. So I wasn't surprised when I leaned over to read the list of jobs that Stu was redrafting this morning at breakfast and found a certain 'Wash car' task against my name.

Panic seized me. Shivers ran down my spine, sweat beaded on my top lip.

'But that will take all day!', I warned.

'It won't take ALL day', Stu promised.

I did at least TRY to avoid it. I suggested that he might have time to do it later in the week. This didn't seem to go down very well. His eyes bulged and bits of toast sprayed from between his teeth.

'It's either that or YOU can build the security door!', he spat.

Now, no matter what my family genealogy says about my father being a carpenter, I am not the most able-bodied person when it comes to tools and wood and crooked houses.

So, being a cooperative and peace-loving creature, I accepted that I was stuck with the 'washing the car' task. I use the word 'accepted' but I did try not to be too gracious about it, lest assumptions were made about future repeats.

So I swallowed my last sip of hot tea, choked on several bits of 'calcare' that rested in the bottom on my cup, donned my 5 layers of clothing and dragged my lower lip to the garage.

I hoisted my lower lip into the car and reversed the vehicle so that it was close to the house.

Next, I went into the house to get the vacuum cleaner but decided to make a loaf of bread instead. I put the mixture into the breadmaker, then made a couple of phone calls.

About an hour later, I emerged with the vacuum cleaner.

I poked and prodded the awkward thing around until I got every bit of dirt and leaf and twig off the mats and the carpet. When I went inside to get a bucket of water, I took the opportunity to check the bread and bake a date loaf.

I emerged about an hour later.

'Now what was I doing?', I asked myself.

'Washing the car?', Stu grunted under his breath.

I went back inside to get a bucket and cloth. I cut a slice of my hot bread, spread it with honey and sat down to read my book.

An hour later, I emerged with a bucket and cloth.

By now you'll be getting the picture...

I finished the 'washing the car' task at 3.00pm. As you will understand, it took this long through no fault of my own. I was always dedicated and committed to the task. Indeed, I managed to keep motivated right to the end.

I just hope Stu remembers this next time he makes a list...