13 November 2010

The things some people will do for peace

We have a neighbour who lives about 500 metres from us.

We very infrequently come across him. In Spring, he tends to walk up the valley with an old camera to take photos of new growth but in the other seasons we don't see him at all.

During summer this year, we were driving up our driveway after a morning at the market.

We rounded a bend near our neighbour's house and were suddenly forced to brake in order to avoid hitting a naked man!

There was a difficult silence in the car as Stu wondered how to proceed and I 'took in the sights'.

Within seconds, the vision had smiled widely at us and was approaching the car.

It was only then that we recognised the naked man as our neighbour and saw that his most interesting parts were hidden by none other than a whipper snipper hanging diagonally across his body!

I felt like I was looking at a full size photo from a sexy men's calendar; one of those calendars that have photos of well-turned men holding various items of machinery to match their macho.

As he got closer, we saw a pair of loose and faded grey jocks behind the motor of the whipper snipper and were relieved to see that he wasn't entirely naked after all.

He explained with absolutely no embarrassment that he'd been cutting the overgrown driveway because he'd purchased a new car. Apparently the new car was fitted with instrumentation that beeped whenever anything got too close to it. It had been necessary for him to cut back any protruding and overhanging growth on the driveway in order to get his car home in silence.

When he next drove home in peace, I wondered if he would consider the disturbance his state of undress had caused us?

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